Faith and purpose

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This year I have gone to church only twice… the first was on January 1, mostly because I was at home and my parents wouldn’t have it any other way. What happened on that day was that I saw someone I didn’t want to, after a very long time. Life has this funny way of changing things at any moment. Then I decided this is the way to go… god himself was giving me the detour. 

After I left home for college, I stopped going to church for a while. It seems human nature causes a person in his most vulnerable state to turn to god when he sees no other way out, well that is the case every time I write an exam, for that matter probably anyone. So during the exams I made a promise to myself that I would try my level best to make the church going thing a weekly business. I usually never meet any of the targets I keep for myself, but I promised myself to try and keep this one, I even made a spot for it in my personal routine. So the first Sunday after my exams, like a good Samaritan I went to church. I was half asleep during the entire mass, mostly because it was not in a language I understand that well, but then again, I don’t understand it when it’s in my mother tongue either. I was hoping that the thought counts. The next day I was all set to go on a small trip with my friends. I personally booked the tickets for the next day and the universe seemed to be revolving around me for a change. Come afternoon and the axis of rotation no longer seemed to be the entity that is me. I landed stomach problems  and my best laid plans went down the drain. What this detour did give me however was a lot of time for me to keep to my thoughts…

When I was in school, I had an English teacher who told me something very special… God gives not those who pray for themselves but to those who pray for others. I always thought that was pretty hard to do, but then I remembered that in the bible son of God in Christianity himself suffered and died for the sins of the world that I realized that mortal man can never and I mean never, have what we all dream of, a perfect life will never become nothing other than a dream. Evernote and then  since that thought came into my mind, I started praying not only for myself, but others with less means, it was the least I could do. 

It was past four thirty in the morning. I was awakened not by a nightmare but by an awakening of reason. I realized that I turned twenty and then when I looked back at my life… all twenty two years and I see nothing for which I should be truly proud of. What disappoints me is not that I havnt achieved anything great, but the fact that I have not done anything for anyone else either. I just hope somewhere down the line things change. 

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